Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Her Gift to Me

Message from Subi's Mom, Lacy,


Some sadness today, as it's the one year anniversary since Subi's big sister Blossom went to Rainbow Bridge.

Blossom started out as my parents' dog. She was born to a litter of a dog belonging to a friend of my mother's. Mom wanted a dog just like Blossom's mother -- instead she got something far different. Where Peaches was docile and mannerly, Blossom was hyper and athletic. For most of her fourteen years she only had one setting...fast. I was in college when my parents brought her home, so I actually missed her puppy year and have only a few precious puppy pictures to treasure.

Through college, I kept complaining that I missed having a dog and told my parents that I wanted a basset hound when I graduated. I thought that would be an excellent graduation present. Since I had to move back home after school, I got instead what amounted to a "Basset Hound IOU". Also, I got the dream dog I never knew I always wanted.

I loved Blossom right away and even though she was thoroughly bonded with my parents, I decided that a takeover was in order. Having had a terrible and often tragic history with pets, I swore to be the best pet parent I could possibly be. Blossom got her vet check up twice a year and went to the doc at the first sign that something was amiss. To my mother's chagrin, she slept on the bed with me - her back to mine. We went for R-I-D-E-S every chance we got. She saw me through every little sadness, and I saw her through swallowing a Beanie Baby, Vestibular Disease, and the pyometriosis that nearly killed her. It was my duty, but it was also an honor.

When she turned fourteen I knew the inevitable was approaching. In the previous years she had begun to slow down due to spinal arthritis. So, while treasuring every day with her, I also prepared to do what had to be done when the time came. Sadly that time came a year ago today. I'm proud to say I didn't shirk my duty and I didn't run like a coward. I held her in my arms while she slipped from this world. I miss her every day. Every time I almost called Subi "BoobooHead".

Some ask how I could I be so willing to do it again -- to love and so inevitably lose. I tell them I can't imagine not wanting to. Sure, the ache in my chest was like a black hole and the tightness in my throat was like a vice, but the tears were cleansing and righteous and well-earned. When all was said and done I had given her as a good life as I was capable.

In return, she taught me how to give my love without reserve and without concern for what the future may bring. Blossom awakened something inside of me, a deep part of my soul that had slumbered in all the years before loving her. That part of me knows that I still have so much love to give.

For now, Subi is the sole beneficiary of that love, but I hope someday a golden in need may come into our life at just the right time. And when that happens, I will be ready and willing and full of love to share.

And that is Blossom's gift to me.